Find More

The Columbia River Gorge: this is a tributary following through a little canyon before flowing into the  Columbia River. My friend and I hiked, through the water of this canyon one hot day, fully dressed. The water came almost to our waist, and my leather sandals, became stiff images of their former self.  It was wonderful. I still remember my friend's perfectly manicured pink fingernails clutching the mossy rocks and we guided ourselves along the rim of this canyon. She was game for just about anytime she could be in water. She's swimming in heaven now, but that day was a mighty close second to it.

 

Have you noticed that some speakers and writers write better than they speak, and some speak better than they write?

One writer I positively adore reading, but not listening to.

Another, a teacher, I love hearing, but fall asleep while trying to read her books.

I suppose it's a rare soul who can achieve both writing and speaking to the reader’s/ listener’s satisfaction. Yet, we expect them to. I know one agent who will not take on a manuscript unless the author is a speaker. Well, that’s a bummer.

There is a phenomenon where a blogger, especially a blogger or a columnist, someone who writes regularly, wears out. “Jumps the shark.” That expression came from the TV show “Happy Days,” when Fonzie, while water skiing, jumped over a shark. That phrase "Jumping the shark," became known as explaining that something has reached it's end, actually it means something has gone a little too far. 

That show should have ended slightly before that episode. Yet, no baseball batter hits a home run every time at bat. It could be that they stay in a rut, or the reader has moved on. Either person can change their interests, become bored, or fall into a cliché.

We either grow together or apart.

So, what is your interest today?

I read a commenter who said she was 70 years old and had weathered many storms, and was tired of people telling her she needed to change. Change this, change that. Another writer said she had it up the kazoo with spiritual truisms, although she was spiritual.  

Maybe stop reading it and live it.

It’s time to declare our greatness and get on with it.

Be selective with what you read. It is so easy to get into something depressing, doom-and-gloom. Hey, give us a break here with you trying to over shock the other writers.

I try to add value, not just listen to my head rattle. Some say you are writing to get attention. So?!! We are all little kids at heart, Mommy, look at me.”

But we grow up and say, “What do I want to share?”  “There is something stuck in me itching for a way out.” This comes after the basic needs are met, like breathing, eating, drinking, shelter, and some modicum of financial security.

We aren’t meant to go through life harvesting fruit only to have it turn to glop in our pocket. In the movie Yentl, “Where is it Written,” Barbra Streisand sang the song, Where is it Written? “Why have the taste if not to drink the wine?”

There comes a time in one’s life when there is a genuine desire to express, to be creative, to contribute, and to have a dialogue with one’s fellow inhabitants. And it doesn’t have to be in words. Have you ever viewed a painting that so inspired you that you wanted to run out and do something creative? That happened to me once with a lounge singer in Las Vegas. I don’t know who he was, or the name of the song, but somehow his song, or his voice, or his rendition of it got to me that evening, and I wanted to go out and write something.

Nature can do that.

Go out and take a forest bath— with awe, not water. (Water works too.) 

Have you ever felt the brush of a horse’s mane, soft and fresh smelling against your cheek, and felt his lips gently nibble-kiss you? Have you ever buried your face in your dog’s fur and felt that gentle curve of his neck as he acknowledges your embrace? 

These are the moments that take our breath away.

Find more.

 

 

 

Wham! Life Hits Us.

 

“La de da da,” we come into this lifetime joyful, smiling, squirming bundles of possibilities. Oh, what fun. We will run and play and bask in the love of adoring parents. This is a vacation, playtime on earth—this beautiful planet with its colors and trees to climb and animals to play with, and…

 

Wham! Something hits us. What was that? I can’t go into the water because I can’t swim?

 

“Oh, okay, I’ll learn to swim.”

 

“La de da da. I’m a dolphin. Mom look at me. See how I glide through the water.”

 

“Mom, why are you crying?”

 

“What’s happening?”

 

“Daddy’s leaving? That can’t be. He’s supposed to stay here, live with us. You’re getting a what? A divorce? That can’t be, parents are supposed to live with each other. They are supposed to be here for me, for us, together.”

 

There are many others in the naked City, country, or hovel.

 

The point is we have created beliefs about how life is, but we go on building a life for ourselves. We go to school—well, that’s another story—the point is, though, that with those hits, we develop a view of how life is, and thus we develop a view of ourselves.

 

We see how people leave us, how we feel unloved, or how hard it was to maneuver the school playground, the lunchroom, the taunts or teasing. We might excel at interpersonal relationships, but there is usually something. We might think we are better than most—that’s an injury, too.

 

We have taken hits, and since they are emotionally charged, they impact us more than the gentle, happy ones. We were raised by parents who sustained hits of their own and, chances are, had no clue about raising kids. They had their own problems. However, together we muddled through. Maybe we had a best friend that filled in some of the holes in our psyche. Perhaps we had many friends, which further influenced our view of life.

 

The bottom line is that through all this, we developed beliefs.

 

I thought I had nothing to discuss today until I remembered yesterday’s email. A friend sent me a quote from Vincent Genna. It was, “Thoughts do not create, beliefs do.”

 

“Yes!” I yelled. “That’s the missing piece of the Law of Attraction puzzle.” We create through our beliefs, not from our thoughts. And most of those beliefs are held and exercised unconsciously.

 

Wow, this business of life is tricky.

 

But we’re adults now, and we can look back and throw those beliefs onto the wall to see if they stick. Are they true? Are they important to keep? Can we replace that belief with a more healthy, pertinent one? Perhaps they are absolutely not true. You did nothing to affect your parent’s personal problems. They were theirs, not yours. Maybe you can forgive them now.

 

I mentioned in a blog earlier that I was writing a memoir. Whenever I say it seems ostentatious to write one, think of it this way: I believe everybody should write one. Thus, my title Come On, I Dare You. Like, hey, don’t leave me alone in this. Every writer knows that a piece of writing affects the one writing it more than the one reading it.

 

From going over my life, I wonder now what my mother thought and felt when she discovered, at 16, that she was pregnant with me. I know she took her best friend with her when she went to tell my father. (I found out that later from her best friend.) She and my father got married and about four years later divorced, but that’s really all I know. She obviously felt she “Had to get married. It was shameful in those days to be an unwed mother. (Although it regularly occurred.) And she tried to hide it from me her entire life.

 

Once in the night, I heard her tell my stepdad, “I hope Joyce never finds out.” However, I knew. Kids know many things their parents try to keep from them. They also know that they shouldn’t know, so they stay quiet. I didn’t know, though, how much she suffered over finding that she was pregnant. And I don‘t know how much I shared her emotions since at the time, we were both sharing the same body.

 

That “trauma” could have contributed to some of my beliefs.