Imagine we are sitting in front of a fireplace. I pour the coffee, would you rather have tea, or a mulled wine, that is warm too? The fire is quietly burning, snapping occasionally, I guess those logs had a bit of water in them.
We settle down with our drinks, prop our feet up, and I explain that I have aired complaints on my blog for the last couple of years; now it's your turn.
So, tell me, is anything bothering you?
I used to have a close friend who would visit for a few days, and we would sit up at night talking. First, we had to get all the frustrations, irritations, and junk, out of our heads, and then about 3 in the morning we would get down to serious, insightful conversation.
It was like a writer's morning pages—write the junk out so the good stuff can come in
Steven Pressfield advises artists to "Sweep your floor, so the Muse doesn't soil her gown on the way in."
But here we are, you and me.
If you don't want to tell me what's bothering you, that's okay. Write it down; I won't peek. Get personal, not just about world conditions.
(Ah, I have to tell you, a Robin just perched on a limb outside my window, and it's November 24, 2025. I thought winter was coming, and that robins are spring birds. He sat a minute, looked at me, and then flew on. Good luck on your journey, sweet bird.)
Having an interruption like that rather knocks those bothersome thoughts out of one's head, doesn't it?
It did mine.
Lately, I've been reading and writing about "Get Happy." And I know the idea of "Let's just get happy" irks some people. I have a friend who says she is happy all the time, and she gets flak for it.
But I am investigating the possibility of "Let's Get Happy Now" using Joseph McClendon III's definition of happiness.:
"Happiness is a mental and emotional state of being where your internal focus is optimistic, and the body produces positive energy."
Now that's something I can get behind. It doesn't say, "Just decide to be happy."
It doesn't minimize hard times.
It doesn't say that we will live in eternal joy.
It doesn't say that being grateful will bring about happiness, although being thankful for the good in your life is a splendid idea.
It doesn't say that your emotions of sadness, depression, grief, or anger ought not to be expressed; it says that "your internal focus is optimistic, and the body produces positive energy."
"Happiness," some say, "comes and goes." It's fun to be happy. But we aren't "ha ha" happy all the time. We laugh at a joke and it fills the happy coffer for a minute. We see a beautiful sunset, an ocean, a beach, or an exquisite alpine forest, and we are in awe. That's fun. We giggle with our children when we see them running in joyful enthusiasm. We love being in love—talk about endorphins. There are many avenues to happiness. But we don't live on the mountain top all the time; that might wear out our synapses, too. However, the idea of living in an optimistic, positive state sounds good to me.
I think when people say, "I just want to be happy," it means more like McClendon has described—being optimistic and allowing our body to produce positive energy.
Those individuals who have lived to be 100 or older, especially those who live in the "blue zones" of the world, probably have experienced sadness, grief, disappointment, anger, and resentment, but that is not where they live.
Generally, those centurions have a full life: they eat well, have social contact, a spiritual bent, and, as they mostly live in a village, they walk a lot.
Most of us don't live in villages anymore; we live in cities or on the farm or in residential areas where often neighbors never speak to each other. However, we can make an effort to create a healthier lifestyle. Joseph McClendon III, a neuropsychologist, says that when people come into his office and he asks them what they want, they usually have a grocery list of things they do not want. When he presses them by asking what they want, they go blank.
Here is an exercise McClendon suggests: Write down your most magnificent day as you see it in your mind's eye.
Or in our case, sitting here in front of the fireplace, we could share how we see our Magnificent Day with each other.
I would love to hear your take on this.
This has been a lovely visit, more on happiness later.
Thank you for joining me.
P.S. I wrote this post for the newsletter I am trying to get going, but decided to also post it here so you will see what I am up to.