Thursday, April 9, 2020

Ha



I began this blog on a serious note—then threw it away.

After I listened to Anthony McCarter present a Ted talk on laughter, where he said that “Seriousness is dangerous,” I decided drop the deep thought, and go for lightness instead.

Sounds good. Know any funny movies?

Watch Multiplicity where Michael Keaton clones himself three times, and with each stamp the ink gets fainter. Oh yeah and Arthur with Dudley Moore--his laughter is courageous.

From a thousand-year-old joke McCarter got this: At a funeral all the men in the audience were crying over the dead guy, except for one man. After the funeral the priest walked up to the man and asked. “Did you know the deceased?”

“Yes,” said the man.

 “Then why weren’t you crying?”

“Because I don’t belong to this Parrish.”

Not funny to us, but demonstrates a point. For something to be funny to us, we all need to belong to the same Parrish.

Remember Clarence Darrow that guy from the movie Inherit the Wind? He was the defense attorney in the famous Scopes trial. Scopes was a teacher on trial for teaching evolution in school. They called it the “Monkey Trial” and I do believe they lost the battle, but won the war. Evolution can be taught in schools. I first saw Inherit the Wind as a stage play in college, and it hit me like an anvil.

I said all that so I could quote Clarence Darrow who said, “If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think.”

Wow. Have we lost the power to laugh? Naugh—that’s too serious. 

Seriousness is dangerous, not only to ourselves, but to society. Without it we have narrow thinking. and tunnel vision. With it we have an open-mind, for according to McCarter, laughter always forgives.

Laughter connects us, gives us hope, embraces strangers, can be our physician, and is a peacemaker.

Okay, I’m going to copy another of McCarter’s jokes: Two old men were walking down the street behind their wives. One of the men asked the other what fun thing he had done lately.

"Well," the guy said, “We went to a restaurant last night. the food was fabulous, everything was prepared great. The prices were good.”

“What was the name of the restaurant? asked the other man.

“Um, ah, you know that flower that has a long stem with thorns up and down the stem?”

“A rose.”

“Rose,” the man yelled to his wife ahead, “what was the name of the restaurant we went to last night?”

Golle-e. Look at all we have piped into our houses every day, TV, movies, Ted talks, wise people pontificating, how to fix the refrigerator. My cup holder on the truck broke. I said, “I’ll buy one when the shops are open."

“Order it online,” said Daughter Dear.

Oh, right.


Sunday, April 5, 2020

What Have We Learned From This Virus Scare?



One: People are easy to control.

Have a big scare and tell people to go home and stay inside.

Shut down businesses–scare people further by cutting off their income.

Wear masks. (For there is a big bad terrible, deadly, invisible something out there to get you.)

Make sure the media uses the adjective “Deadly” in front of every usage of the word “virus.” That will keep it in the forefront of people’s minds.

Keep “Social Distance.”

That way we can’t assemble as people, for someone might breathe on us. A caugh? Oh God.

We can’t even have a mob, for heaven’s sake.

(I heard from a viruologist–don’t know who–that while this virus is highly contagious, it is not highly deadly.–people die from a flu every year.)

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Find a Cornfield


I saw something adorable yesterday. 

As I was pulling out of a parking place at my Chiropractor’s office, a teen-aged girl was getting into her car carrying what looked like a baby lamb.

I couldn’t resist, I drove over as the mother was spraying her daughter’s shoes with disinfectant as she lifted one foot then the other. I commented on how cute they were, and the girl stepped back out and showed me her baby goat. 

It made my day.

The baby was 8 weeks old, and the girl said her name was Shadow because she followed her everywhere.

The mother said, with no school, now the girl has a goat. How creative. She has time to take care of a baby, bond, have fun.

If you have never experienced a goat, you have missed tremendous fun. A goat is somewhat like a dog in that goats will follow you, go on walks with you, like being around you, and, unlike a dog, they will mow down the brush for you. They are not messy, as they poop pellets like deer. They do like to climb, though.

Baby Darling on Wilbur with Orville looking on, Oregon


Baby Darling and Ra, Hawaii

One might say that little goat was the girl’s cornfield.

What am I talking about?

“Blame it on my high school teacher,” wrote Martha Beck. Her high school teacher, Mrs. Jensen she called her, was married at 17, bore her first child at 19 and was a farmwife and mother of four by age 22. When she felt overwhelmed, she’d retreat to a field of corn and hide, listening to her children search for her. When she heard a genuine cry for help or felt ready to reconnect, she would go back. 
Everybody needs their cornfield.

Perhaps that doesn’t apply to you if you live alone. Now with this quarantine, you feel isolated and in need of some diversion and socialization, but if you are cramped into a house with a large family, you might need a cornfield. That girl needed a baby goat.

You need someplace to hide where you can recharge your batteries. As I have mentioned, my truck (my office on wheels) is my cornfield, although I didn’t call it that until I read of Mrs. Jensen. Sometimes, I need to get out, but I still want to work, so I take my materials, my dog, and I drive and park someplace green and beautiful, and while the dog sleeps, I center myself.

I feel that we, as an earth-people, have just experienced a factory reset.

Things will never be the same, but I hope we will emerge more enlightened people. I hope we take some stock while in that cornfield to evaluate what’s important. Perhaps work will change. Companies might decide that much of their work-- via computer-- can be done outside the cubicle. Maybe we will touch the beauty that is our own soul, and become happier. Perhaps we will see that this factory reset allowed nature to take a breath.

I’m impressed with the restaurants in town offering take-out and grocery stores providing delivery. The Olive Garden has it down to a science, with a tent outside for clerks to take orders, send you in your car to a parking place, and wait for your food to be delivered. Someone came up with the glass or plastic shields in front of cash registers. Human ingenuity, I love it. These are the ones that drive evolution in a positive direction.

I’m ready to get back to interaction, however, and please folks let’s not develop a fear of each other.

We, at-home workers, haven’t experienced much change. I work at home, but don’t make a living at it. (In my dreams, and bless Husband Dear.) I have, however, spent the past week on my upcoming novel. I am suffering the “Holy cow, what it, nobody likes it, reads it, and I make a fool out of myself,” syndrome. My shitty first draft should be long gone, but now comes the finishing touches.
Some people like to read about work-in-progress, some don’t. I do. I love to see houses before they are finished, artists painting of sculpting or whatever their medium is, and here I’m talking about a book in process.

One woman explained with self-publishing that she had carefully formatted everything, She had it ready for the press, then discovered she had left out the page numbers. Luckily she found it before press.

What I’m afraid of is that I will find my errors after it is printed. I’ll look like a fool and fall flat on my face. But as Robinhood said, “Faint hearts never won fair ladies.” so I am plunging ahead.

I spent an entire day on the cover. I had a front cover laid out, but then I realized that if I have a print book—my daughter wants at least one hard copy—that I need a back cover, a description, and a barcode. I wanted the background to wrap around from front to back, but where would the book bend, and how large would the spine be (that area where the title is listed vertically)? And the background I choose is limited in size, perhaps it won’t be long enough to cover edge to edge with the front cover laid out the way I want it. I know the book will be cut, and they have what’s called a bleed where the color extends past the cut edges. So, I dinked and experimented and wanted the bird on the front to be in a particular spot.

The Frog’s Song Publishing LLC. is official.

I have two ISBN’s, one for softcover, one for an ebook.

My nom d’ plume will be jewell d.

And I’m waiting for the Library of Congress to give me an official number.

And that’s not even talking about what’s inside. That’s the fun part.

You see, I’m hoping to have Where The Bird’s of Eden Sing out soon. The ebook will be reasonably priced, $2.99, and available while people have time to read, are perhaps tired of Netflix, and can take my book to their cornfield.